Rules in games

From my edgiest period in life some years ago I remember that one song with powerful chorus that went:

You can play the game,
but you can't make the rules
It's cruel, so cruel

If all the world's a stage,
then we all play the fool
It's cruel, so cruel

How could I ever relate to this song, while thinking about my reality? What?! We can't change all the rules in every game, but it is worth trying our best. Now, it reminds me of learned helplessness. It angers me how much potential has been wasted.

How could I ever accept the role of a martyr and just come to peace with defining life as misery? Or I never fully accepted it, but simply didn't believe in myself and my ability to influence the world?

Either way, it couldn't possibly stay like that for long. Around 2 years ago I began my journey of getting enough self-esteem to actually go out there and mix things up. And oh boy, I managed to mix things up.

Einstein's childhood

Today, when I'm writing this, I started reading Albert Einstein's biography written by Walter Isaacson. While reading about his childhood, I understood how big a nonconformist he was.

"Suspicion against every kind of authority grew out of this experience, an attitude which has never again left me" - Einstein said

He was very uncomfortable in school. "The teachers at the elementary school seemed to me like drill sergeants, and the teachers at the gymnasium like lieutenants."

(Our whole modern education system stems from a Prussian one, which is a fact. We were supposed to be taught discipline and obedience to authority. Memorization tasks were supposed to keep us busy to have no time to do activities of our choice. Bread[, sex] and circuses. Have it all really changed that much in the past century? Debatable.)

It was this comfort with being a nonconformist that would define both his science and his social thinking for the rest of his life.

A foolish faith in authority is the worst enemy of truth

His insolence made him unwelcome in class. When Einstein insisted that he had committed no offense, the teacher replied, "Yes, that is true, but you sit there in the back row and smile, and your mere presence here spoils the respect of the class for me."

Wow.

Questioning the authorities really hit me.

It made me wonder (as most things). I thought recently a lot about who I am. I had my reasons, trust me. And that was yet another sign, that maybe I'm not completely wrong with being a nonconformist. Einstein made a ton of mistakes and even was arrogant and disrespectful to others, but there is something to learn from how he handled things. At the end, he came out on top.

How about we improve on his lifestyle?

Adjusting the world to myself

When I finally got the courage to question the rules of the game, instead of just playing it as best as I can, my life has never been the same again.

Words cannot describe how annoying it is for me to attend classes. They make me uncomfortable, tired, bored and they kill my mood. I'm a misfit there, I hate the environment. And most of these classes are mandatory, ugh. Are they?

Exactly one year ago, during winter break I remember excitedly telling people, that next semester I plan on talking to the teachers and asking them for possibilities of passing the courses in alternative ways. And this plan turned out to be a huge win.

For one class they gave us 3 big lists of tasks to solve, and every 2 weeks we had to come to the class and show the part of our solutions.

Yeah, okay. It sounds nice. So we have to solve everything regularly at home and just attend the class... For what? To ask obligatory questions? Or just for the attendance?

"Can I please solve everything at home and just send you the results, as this is my preferable way of working? It takes energy for me to get into the hyperfocused zone and I prefer just sitting at these tasks for many hours until I solve them."

Yes, I could. A month for sending all lists, fair enough. Thanks a lot. I didn't attend a single class from this subject.

One time I met one of my colleagues asking me about that class. As a joke they said: "Oh, you don't have to attend it because you're better than us". Decent joke, but I'm not convinced that it's 100% a joke. I can easily imagine people being jealous about it.

To which I would just say: "Better than you? 🤨 I just fight for myself and for what I believe in".

And it's just one example, that influenced me a lot for the past year.

The inner child

I can imagine people being unimpressed by how I manage to skip classes. But these are these little things, that somehow manage to influence my life a lot. A small little confidence boost.

It might seem insignificant, but it shapes the way I think. If you're not an extreme quiet introvert like me, you might not understand how much it means for me to see that my opinion matters. In anything.

Look at me! I went to people that in theory have "authority" over me and I treated them like an equal and negotiated new rules for myself. I feel like a 2 year old and a boss at the same time.

There is something special about that childlike approach to life. It makes me feel like there's so much more to learn from everyone around me. I know that I barely know anything. I'm so Inexperienced. And somehow this leads me to ironically be way more experienced.

For some reason, I am the one that experiments on my own and conclude, that I disagree with what everyone around me is doing. For some reason, almost nobody thinks about going to teacher and being like: "Hey, the passing rules are quite fair and clear, howeveeerrrr..... Would there be a chanceeeeeeeee... [...]"

The only person I know that is a veteran at changing rules of the game is the person that didn't have much choice in life. Their health problems forced them to fight for themselves everywhere. I guess that people with exceptionally hard lives will never cease to interest me.

I'm just glad to have a choice and do it all voluntarily. I shape my reality because I genuinely think that it is a right thing to do.

Contrarians

Anyway, if this is possible, what else is possible?

What people don't even consider doing, but is actually possible to change and that makes sense?

It is clear to me now, more than ever, that the future will not be determined by highly educated smart heads from various institutions, but rather by contrarians, who will remain themselves despite the whole world wanting them to change.

Most of contrarians are wrong, of course. But this is how it's supposed to be. You take risk by being a complete outcast. There is a reason for you being an outcast and most people disagree with you. You'll almost certainly fail. But there is a tiny tiny chance, that you're actually right. And you'll revolutionize the world. (Think about geniuses in history for a moment)

We really don't appreciate people who try something absolutely crazy, that nobody would think of. Even if they're wrong, knowing what not to do is often more important than knowing what to do.

Just like my path in life is mostly directed by people who I do not want to become, rather than having role models of who I want to be like.

Think about it. It's the flat earthers that showed all of us how bad it is to be closed in your own social media echo chamber. People being wrong and failing their lives miserably, devoted to the idea so easily debunkable, are actually somewhat useful to society. But if they were right, they would revolutionize our whole view on our world.

Just like mutations in a living organism: most of them do nothing, some are bad, but some are good. And these good ones are the ones that are going to survive. Our mission as conscious beings is to foster these good mutations on an ever increasing scale of complexity. Me changing how I pass my classes is the scale I'm able to work on right now. But we're going up.

Mark Manson, the author of the book "The Subtle Art of not Giving a Fuck" (great book btw), made a video titled: "How to Get Ahead of 99% of People (Starting Today)" (great video btw):

His guide can be summarized by:

1. Have a contrarian idea
2. Be correct about that idea
3. Execute on it massively

Mark. Well said. Good job.

The courage to be different will lead us forward. If not, I'm wasting my life. Oh well.

Maybe at least someone will remember me and know what not to do in life. What a win. Not a complete waste after all.